I once wrote in blog for a class I'm taking, "I'm a blogger, I blog here, I blog on my support group site(now it's here), I write on facebook, I text my friends, I have a twitter, and even a tumblr (I never get on that one)." I started with xanga. Oh, the good old days of 8th graders posting about how horrible their lives are and how it's the end of the world because some boy didn't look at them. I didn't know in the 8th grade the dumb boy I talked about would be my fiance, nor did I know my life or struggles would be what they are today. I'm here to do what I guess I was born to do, blog about my thoughts so I can hopefully make sense what's in my head.
I've been thinking a lot lately about my health vs. school. In my life these are two forces that choose to reside as mortal enemy's. It is difficult to know the balance and I'm still striving for that exact pin point where these two can co-exist. I just did my "advising" today. I mentioned my health issues so I want to take my hours easy. She was very nice and encouraging, it was a little helpful. I have been pretty worried lately about school. I can't take a semester off because my scholarships would go, my loan would start to build interest, and I'm not sure how some people would react. There are only two solution to fixing the problem, change school or my health. I can try as I may, but my health has a mind of it's own and will not change magically overnight. This is a challenging situation that I think I will constantly have to review and asses. As of right now... I'm working at trying to get my health under control. I'm also thinking of my options if a music education degree can't work for me, this way I won't feel trapped and I think this will help calm me, even if I never use these alternate options. I will continue on the MUED program in hopes I can follow my passion. I will try to pace my hours, put some fun back in my life, rest when I can, and try my best to remember all my blessings. I still can move around for the most part without pain, I am in college, I have an amazing fiance to help me through this, a very supportive family, a best friend to help me clear my head and listen to anything no matter how stupid, a passion for music, a gift for my passion, and a future ahead of me that is promising even if it doesn't turn out exactly as planned.
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This is the optimistic Callie I know! I know times are stressful right now, but I know we can get through this. One thing though, I don't want you to think you CAN'T take a semester off because of what people will think. I will still love you and I know you will get back to it. (Although, I do see your point on the scholarships and loan). I love you and you are so amazing. I am so glad God put you in my life!
ReplyDelete-Alex
One thing I've always admired about you, how motivated you are and how well you're able to think things out. I get seriously discouraged when I face my issues and my thinking is very circular and goes absolutely nowhere. As Alex said, I don't think you should worry about what others will think if you take a break. Your well-being is incredibly important and if it comes to taking a semester off, I wouldn't worry. And while I don't have the same medical problems, I understand the stress and frustrations to a degree. But I believe you can make it through.
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