Teacher

    Today was an ok day, I did not wake up for my first class, but I really enjoyed our field experience. I can't wait to be a music teacher. The thought of teaching kids music makes all the struggles here seem worth it. This quarter of the semester is winding down, as students spirits are winding up! Only one concert tonight, one Spanish mid-term, and one class of a crazy lady talking for an hour and them I'm free! I am very excited. I get to take my time packing, watch some movies with my Alex, church then off we go to home. I have a lot of homework to catch up on over break from being sick. But the idea of no class and I can rest when I like, I don't think I'll mind the homework as much.
    I sang in studio today. For those of you not music majors, studio is where all my voice teachers students get together, and we sing for each other. Then we talk about what we did well, or bad, and how to fix it. In front of everyone. I love music, but I have no desire to be a performer. I want to teach little kids twinkle twinkle, not perform Queen of the Night Aria for the Queen of England. I was the last person to go and I sang Stanchen by Johannes Brahms. Honestly, all that was running through my head was, "remember the German, remember the German" and occasionally I thought "oh, placement". After I finished the song I looked to the back of the room and tried to control my shaking. They clapped and I shook out my arms thinking I would have to go back and fix something, so might as well get the nerves out. My teacher just said it was a great way to end class, that I sounded like I was enjoying my new soprano song, and that I flipped great. I was shocked. After class one of the seniors in my studio came up and told me how good I did, that he hadn't heard my voice before and I surprised him. I'm sure I turned bright red, and the people around me that know him just said, "wow, that's THE *insert his name here*, THE *name again*". I was so proud of myself. With being sick, and not being able to eat, and everything going on, I got that reaction. Not enough for me to want to become a performer, but definitely makes the prospect of singing in studio again, not so scary. :)
     I've had some people approach me (even electronically, ok, mostly electronically) and tell me how they enjoy my blog and they read it all the time. That is so amazing to me. It's so awesome that I am spreading the word. Even though, as I told Alex, that I don't necessarily want everyone to know my struggles, someone has to explain. Talking out right about things that are difficult, the way I'm changing, problems I have with myself now that I have this illness, it's not easy to admit these things. But, that said, other people need to understand. People need to understand and sympathize on some level. If I can change that, if I can help others understand and make other people sufferings' life that much easier? That is amazing. So thank you! Thank you for reading, for sharing, for supporting, and for understanding!